❤️A little note to the self❤️

Hi guys!

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First of all, sorry to those who read my blog for not posting for so long. I have been thinking a lot about certain subjects concerning my life recently and I have come to the conclusion that I worry too much. The very result of this is that I end up not doing the things I have planned to do in a particular day. It may be to do with the fact that I am an introvert or perhaps with my anxiety but nevertheless there is the fact that I worry too much about things that I should be rather excited about. It would take my whole life to recall all the moments when I have worried or stressed about something, but that is not the point. What is important is that up to this day I have been extremely scared of new experiences but more importantly I have been scared of life itself. I am scared to live to the fullest in a fear that someone might not like the way I live or that something, a stage of my life, will end. But enough of my rambling on. Now that you have a slight idea of what some of us may feel like about life, I'd like to share with you what to do when you worry too much or when fears seem unfathomable.

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To begin with, I once read in an article that the feelings of fear and loneliness are the breeding ground for negative, self-critical thoughts. Immediately, I thought 'Hmmm, that's kinda bad thing'. But then after a good night's sleep, these words appeared in my mind again and I experienced a moment of sudden realisation-- what literary critics call epiphany. What I concluded from this was that self-criticism isn't that destructive at all; I would even say that it is the opposite of destructive-- is it constructive. Let me explain to you. Whether self-criticism is evoked by fear, loneliness or any other negative feeling, it helps our personalities expand and move on to the next stage of personal discovery. In simple words, unless we have realised that one has to critique their attitude, personality or even behaviour we will never come to terms with negative feelings such as fear and worry. So when you feel worried, absolutely down about life and you feel like nothing makes sense any longer or maybe you're just too exhausted with life-- regardless of what you feel-- you must always find time for self-critical thoughts, otherwise you will be stuck in the mode of negative thinking which you will be unable to resolve.

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Obviously, being critical about your own thinking or attitude is not the easiest of things; it is not our second nature at the end of the day. We like being praised and the thought of being criticised is rather difficult to accept. But we're not talking about letting people dictate what you should change about yourself, we're talking about 'you' telling yourself how to be a better version of yourself. It may seem hard at first but it actually is not. You may, for example, want to change the fact that you never get things done on time or that you keep on procrastinating, or that you are not nice to others when you're tired. Whatever it is, small or big, you always need to find time to reflect on your attitude and personality and change something about yourself in order to be a better version of yourself and not worry as much. P.S. We all know that nobody is perfect.

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Let me tell you what I have criticised about myself and how I have approached it. In high school I was always the hard-working student with brilliant work-ethic but in college something inside me snapped and my studious personality decided to rebel. This obviously was not ideal as A-levels require you to have that 'brilliant work-ethic' that I once used to have. The worst thing though-- yes there was something worse-- was that I was not bothered and decided to not do my homework and skip lessons. When I came to reviewing why I went from A grades to E grades, I  was paralysed by the amount of work I had to catch up with. But after a while's thought I realised that I had used up all of my energy in high school because I never rewarded myself for studying well. This conclusion though was kind of lenient toward me and led me into thinking that therefore I was not responsible for my grade deterioration. It wasn't until my second year of college that I decided to stop deceiving myself and told myself upfront that I was simply being lazy. You may think that that was harsh but self-criticism requires from you to be tough on yourself otherwise you will not learn from it. Just take me as an example; I thought that the main cause of my problem was lack of self-reward but that led me into thinking that therefore I had the right to feel down and not work as hard. If I hadn't told myself that all I was doing was being lazy and looking for excuses to not do my work, I would still be that old me lying on the couch watch 'Vampire Diaries' instead of doing my college work.

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Remember every one of us needs to be harsh on themselves in order to learn and improve. If you are constantly telling yourself that you're going to have that piece of chocolate because you're feeling upset today and if you do that every time you crave chocolate, it means that you have to use your self-critical skills and deal with the inner cause of the problem. Not only will this help you be happier but you will also worry less as you will find yourself to be more efficient and consistent. I hope that you guys can too find inner strength and some self-critical ability to solve your own problems. Whether big or small it is always worth resolving any problems you may have before they escalate all at once.

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Stay positive as always and have a lovely evening.

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Lots of love xxx

❤️ Positivity ❤️

Hey guys !

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As the title of this post says, today I'm going to be talking about positivity and how important it is in every single person's life. I'm going to be frank with you- I'm not an expert at being and (more importantly) staying positive but in the past few months I have learned a lot through reading, listening and applying what I have learned to my every-day life. So, let's start from where my discovery of positivity began.

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Most of us have been through the hard years of being a college/sixth form students. To some these two years of education are the best years of their lives but for most it's a no man's land. I'm saying that because it's a period of time where a lot of people (or maybe just me) feel lost, disorientated and most of the time down about themselves, just because some other girl got a better mark on a math test and that makes you feel worthless. You start questioning: 'what's wrong with me? I was always amazing at everything in high school'. I felt the same way in the first year of college: lost, worthless and apathetic. I lacked motivation and didn't want to be in college any more. I wasn't even focusing on my grades and getting in to a good Uni because of how deep I had fallen into the endless cycle of procrastination I myself had created. When I had to write an assignment or a piece of coursework I would put it aside until the day it was due to be handed in. You know what was the worst part of this though, probably the fact that I always found an excuse to procrastinate and postpone every piece of work I was set and even if I felt guilty of it I didn't care because, after all, I was always "too tired to do anything". That was it. I kept saying to myself "I'm too tired. I need sleep". Yes I wasn't getting enough sleep but I would've been if I'd been on top of every obtrusive piece of work my teachers were setting me to do. Okay so what did I do? Hmmm... nothing up until late April. I tell myself that I'm going to be revising a lot the next day: "I'll go for it properly tomorrow" etc. But what I was doing instead? I was slacking off. Yes, even the exam pressure wasn't enough to get me out of this horrible cycle of procrastination. I just kept going round and round until one day I sort of "woke up" and realised there's nothing else left for me to do but cram everything in. Not the best of ideas- now I know. Here comes summer and what do I get? 2 C's, 2E's and a U. I only proved all of my teachers right that with too much on my shoulders (college and part time job) I would fail and I did. You know what though, I'm thankful for this because this situation opened up my eyes. Not only were my relatives and friends disappointed with me but I was disappointed with myself for never being brave enough to take action. You're probably here now thinking: 'but what does this have to do with positivity?'. It has a lot to do with it. At first I thought I became an unmotivated zombie because I lacked energy due to the work load and lack of sleep, and that is partly true. However the underlying cause of all this was my internal negative attitude and lack of positive energy in my life. There are many causes for why I was most of the time unhappy such as unresolved conflicts from the past which I have to live with up to this day and I still sometimes struggle, lack of purpose and long-term goals and abandonment of the creative part of me. These all contributed to my overall mental and physical ill-being.

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How did I overcome all this? I haven't completely overcome this yet because it's a process on which you have to work and put effort into. I am going back to college soon as I am in my last year now and I have planned everything in detail. Over the summer holidays I took a lot of time to detoxify my mind, brain (but not of the good knowledge of course) and body in order to start fresh and go through the next couple of terms with a positive and healthy mind. I decided that every week I'm going to write in my big calendar/organiser what I'm going to do each day in that week and that way I'll stay up to date with everything. However, I will also be focusing more on polishing my positivity through meditation, developing my creativity and smiling as much as I can. I am normally a smiley person but sometimes I don't realise that I smile only because I want to come across as polite and not because I want to feel internally and externally happy with myself. That will change now. Even if I'm in a bad mood I'll be trying to stay positive and solve the internal conflict by talking to someone or giving myself some time to think it over.

I know it's not going to be easy but trust me if you're in the same position as me where you have to resit most of your exams together with your A2's this is the best solution. In fact positivity is the best solution for everything. If you want your family and friends to be happy in your company you have to stay positive not only for them but for yourself because bad energy can be sensed and when you're aware that other people know that you're unhappy inside, you will drown in your unhappiness even more. This advice is not just for your college years but for the rest of your life. I definitely feel more positive now that I have shared this with you who are reading this post.

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'Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow'- Helen Keller

 

❤️Lots of love and positivity❤️